The Wildly Alive Approach

What “Wildly Alive” actually means

This coaching approach is about slowing down and coming home to our full, embodied seasonal selves. Most of us have been taught to value only one season. In westernized countries, there’s an overemphasis typically on an orgasmic summer and transcendent experiences. We’ve been conditioned to treat everything else as less than. This messaging is deeply embedded in our grind culture that’s overly focused on productivity and concepts like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Wildly Alive means your body, your desire, and your relationships are allowed to move through fall, winter, spring, and summer. Wild aliveness allows us to surrender into needed release, resting, building, and blooming when it’s the right time. We can flow through these cycles as often as we need to (even in the course of a day), without shame and without white-knuckling your way back to “on” before you're actually ready. Trying to live permanently in summer is exactly what burns us out of desire and delight. The flowing and embodied cycle is what keeps these kinds of vital energies alive.

The four seasons: In a day, a week, a month, or over years

Fall’s Release

This is the letting-go season. Grieving what a relationship, a body, or a chapter of your sexuality used to be. Here we can shed old patterns and blocks, old partners and old conditioned beliefs about what you're allowed to want. Nothing is wrong with you here. We are composting not failing.

Winter’s Rest

This is the quiet season. We can surrender into softness and a coming to earth with yin energy. Here we can often feel a sense of low libido, low output, and an undertow pull toward stillness and solitude. Culturally, this is the most shamed season. Winter is also a most necessary season, because everything your spring and summer will need is being formed here, out of sight, like mycelium under the earth.

Spring's Building

This is the season of possibility. Curiosity, playfulness and flirtation return. Spring can invite the first sparks of wanting something more. This is tender, early-growth energy, and there is no hurry to rush into full bloom. Savor the quickening energy and early spring grassiness that nourish us after a long rest.

Summer’s Bloom

This is the season of fruition. Abundant arousal, connection and pleasure show up in their heat and fullness. Summer is wonderful, and we can choose it and savor it more often. One can invite a little summer in every day if it feels accessible and authentic. Summer is also not meant to be permanent. A summer that never ends becomes unappreciated and unsustainable, a strained performance that can be deadening to us over time

Peak Culture

So much of modern sex and relationship advice is aimed at keeping you in summer indefinitely. We’re coded to seek more excitement, more frequency and more intensity, forever. Orgasm is seen as the goal of sex which then by definition becomes goal focused rather than pleasure focused and/or connection focused. This endless drive stance and grind culture upholds systems of oppression surrounding capitalism, white supremacy and patriarchy. Wildly Alive coaching aims for the opposite polarity: it teaches you to trust your winter as much as your summer, because a person (or a relationship) who's allowed to fully rest is the one who can rhythmically and sustainably flow into rhythmic bloom.